The Boy With No Name

Since I can remember, I have never been given a nickname. Sure, I have a name my parents called me for a few years that pops up from time to time, but nothing that has become common knowledge that everyone calls me.

I was always a little envious of those guys that had cool nicknames and I was always impressed when the nicknames were so well accepted by the general public that they now have to list themselves on facebook under that name. (This one is for you Peach)

I have too simple a name for some one to make shorter into something cool like going from Charles to Chuck or Chucky or Chuckles. Like Robert to Bobby to Bob or Bob-o. Just Joe. There are still those that find it entertaining to add the Y to the end but why would you want to give someone a nickname longer than that of their real name?

I wanted so much to have a nickname while growing up but now it seems too late for that to happen. If a guy goes by Bobby while growing up, then he will forever be Bobby. If a guy goes by James instead of Jim or Jimmy, then he is destined to be James the rest of his life. Me, I am a Joe. Just regular Joe. Nothing fancy. Nothing creative. Just Joe. And that's good enough for me.

The Wonderful World of Zombies

Sometimes I like to imagine I live in the world of the zombie apocalypse.

I tend to avoid horror movies. I never loved the gore and the suspense. The plots to ninety percent can be solved or avoided in the first five minutes by remembering: don't run to the roof to get away, don't check to see if the bad guy is really dead, and you have to be stupid to not see that its a trap. Even though all these things are true about almost every zombie movie, I can't stay away from them.

It isn't the thrill of the chase or the killing of zombies that gets by blood going but the idea that during a zombie apocalypse there are no fences. There are no borders or boundaries. If you are hungry, walk into the market and get some food. Forget the market, go get the food out of the fridge at your neighbors house. Forget your neighbors house, take the candy bar out of the top drawer of your coworkers desk just make sure their head is not attached.

The idea that everything is available for use is one that brings a smile to my face. Terrible, yes, the world is in total disarray but I need to get somewhere and there are literally thousands of cars with keys in them just waiting for me to modify with chain link and barbed wire and take off in. Need a gun? Go get one. Need a rocket ship to the space station? Hop in. The appeal of being trapped in a mall during the zombie attack, genius. Who wouldn't want to be able to go to the sporting goods store and stock up on gear like a hockey mask and some sweet pads to keep away those pesky brain eaters?

Imagine living in a world where everything is up for grabs to the last man standing...and that is also not a zombie. Crazy, you say? Sure. Crazy awesome.

Surviving Christmas With Family

We all love the holidays. We all love our families. Not all of us love holidays with our families. I have a great family whom I love dearly, but there are a lot of times conversations are started that lead to arguments or at least tension around the tree and nobody really wants that. So this year I am putting together a list to help myself through but I thought it might be useful to others as well.

Things to avoid:
This may throw you off at first but hear me out; avoid Christmas with your family. If there are tensions or internal struggle, a lot of hurt feelings can actually be avoided, by one of the parties taking this year off. On the other hand, if at all possible, settle those differences before the happy day. Call up the estranged members of your family and make amends ahead of time. This will take a huge load off when the day arrives.

Avoid wall-flowering. It is only one day and for most, only a few hours so make the best of it. Get in on the conversations, play Scrabble with the grandparents, mix it up! In the end you will be more revered by your family and you will feel like you actually participated in something special this year.

Avoid your phone. Phone games are a great time waster but you are not here to waste time. You are here to celebrate and have a good time. If you're bored, entertain someone. Find the little kids and play blocks with them, find the teens and regale them with tales of when you were once their age, seek out the oldest person in the family and ask them all about how your holiday traditions came to be. When you go to a party, you should be talking to the people there and not reply-all-ing the thirty people who spammed everyone in their contact list with a generic "Merry Christmas everybody!" You have a smart phone. Good for you. Be smart by knowing when to put it down.

Things to do:
Make your own list. By preparing, you avoid much of the holiday drama. What are you going to say when your drunk uncle wants to arm wrestle you? Are you going to help with the dishes afterward or are you going to change your new niece's diaper while her mom helps clean up? Make these choices ahead of time and you will feel accomplished when the evening is through.

Talk to people you haven't spoken with for a while. Be sincere and really try to get to know someone in your family in a way that you didn't before. Avoid conversations about expectations, past mistakes, politics and babies. The last one may seem out of place until you realize on the way there, your cousin and her husband just had a conversation about whether to have another one or not and they can't agree. Trust me. No baby talk.

Make a new tradition. Sounds crazy at first but sometimes the best tradition is having a new one each year. Try something new on the table, a new game to play, a new routine, a new...anything really. You will be surprised at how many people are up for a change now and then.

I hope these help you this year. Merry Christmas to you and your crazy family from me and mine.

Heads Up, Christmas Is Here

How can you tell Christmas is just around the corner? For me, it is the crisp air, the wet leaves (I live in California. Wet leaves is as good as it gets.), and setting up the tree with all the trimmings. But as the years have progressed I have made other connections with the season.

Increased parking lot accidents: The simple act of pulling in and out of a parking spot in an organized, well lit commercial parking lot turns into a Thunderdome rumble.

Ads ripping off Christmas carols: Walking in a 4G wonderland. Its the most wonderful sale of the year. Ugh.

Crappy gift aisles: Pocket knife/cell phone charger combos, boxers in Tabasco sauce containers, Spiderman walkie-talkies with laser pointers, and all the worthless crap that doesn't sell at any other time of the year stuffed into the shelves at the end of each row of other crappy gifts.

Decoration wear: The one thing stores didn't count on when they put up lights in August is that the bulbs weren't designed to last that long. Bulbs out and plastic ornaments missing half their paint and glitter dangling from every rooftop.

The list also includes:
Bod for Men commercials, empty store shelves, looks of panic from other shoppers, long lines leading nowhere and ending even further away, candles in the strangest pages, pledge drives on most radio channels, red and green junk mail (you know, for the holidays), pageants about who knows what, people correcting each other on the most politically correct way to wish people a Merry Christmas, "free" wrapping at the mall, egg nog and peppermint flavored everything from coffee to chapstick to popsicles, animals with Santa hats, cars with antlers, and the list goes on.

How could not be looking forward to the season? As crazy at it might get, I love everything about it.

If you have something to add, list it below for others to see in the comments.

Some Like It Cool

So how do you tell if someone is cool or not cool? If you are going to get along with someone or not? How do you choose who it is you are going to spend time with?

For some people they choose way before they even meet the person. They hear a story of how the person chose to react in a situation they relate to or what kind of car they drive, job they have or how hot their significant other may be and the decision is made.

Others will see the person from across the room. They see their clothes or notice the brand of watch the person is wearing and as long as it isn't one of those embarrassing brands, then they are all right.

For the few of us that scoff at name brands and trust our own instinct over that of others, we like to meet people. Face to face and without the small talk. Then take out all the preconceptions about that person and let them show you how cool they really are. When this system is applied, you would be amazed at how many cool people are really out there.

Don't assume you know where people come from. Don't label people as jerks without knowing them personally. Do give people multiple chances to surprise you. Don't judge a person by their....well, anything.

Third Chances

I played little league when I was young and was not very good at it. There were always better kids that understood intricacies of the game I had not even heard of yet. They were full of player stats and technique while I was barely able to catch or throw. I would rarely get on base and if I did, it was usually because I got walked.

One year, my team was in the running for third place. Tony's Meats had already clinched first place but it was our chance for third. It was the top of the ninth and I was again playing my natural position of left field. I was so far back I could hardly see the plate but I heard the crack of the bat against the ball and then I saw it; the ball that would seal my destiny. Remembering back, I can see the flash forward all over again. If I don't catch the ball I will never live it down. Everyone will laugh and I will forever be the guy that couldn't catch that simple fly out to left. Then again, if I catch the ball I will be an instant hero and cheered for years to come. I will go places when I am old and they will chant my name in the streets.

I got so nervous thinking about what lay ahead in my future with the outcome of this play and then it happened; the ball landed in my glove. I was beaming from ear to ear. I couldn't believe it. I had done it. And just then I felt my grip on the ball escape me and I watched in horror as the ball bounced out of my glove and into the grass.

I picked it up and threw it with all my might to second base but the damage had been done. The pitcher struck the next batter out and I slowly made my way back to the dugout/fenced in bench. I kept my head down as I made my way to the far end of the bench but before I could sit down the coach reminded me I was on deck. Now the pressure was on.

I found my helmet and practice bat and was stopped by my coach. "Shake it off. You got this one." A rare moment of encouragement but all I needed to hear right then. We were tied and the guy in front of me just hit a double. Now was my chance. I stepped to the plate, the pitcher hurled the ball towards me and...Strike! I missed it! How could this be? I was so focused. Second pitch, dirt. Third pitch, strike two! What? Now was my chance for redemption and I was blowing it. If I miss this one I am really sunk.

The pitcher threw the ball and I gave it everything I had. Smack! Right into left field and directly towards the fielder. I know you are not supposed to watch the ball as you run the bases but I couldn't help myself, this was the longest hit I had ever gotten and was not going to miss this for the world. I watched as the ball landed in the grass right in front of the guys glove. Our runner headed home and the game was over before I made it to third, but I will never forget the way I felt that night. Not a care in the world to total devastation, to confidence to fear, to exhilaration and then to empathy.

I still have that tiny third place trophy, but I don't need it be be reminded of the lessons I learned that night.

Everyone deserves a third chance.

Secrets, Secrets

Honesty is the best policy. But what is a secret?

Watch any show on TV today and the cause of all suspense, drama, relationship strain, whatever, and you can trace it back to one person not being open with another. Reality or scripted, writers know there is no simpler way to divide people. The problem though is we see these individuals and characters keeping secrets and we act it out in our own lives. Monkey see, monkey do.

The trouble with secrets is that they are too easy not to keep. We are asked to keep a secret and immediately picture the ten people we are not supposed to tell. We see them coming up to us and asking us what's on our mind and we know we will have to lie eventually to protect the interests of the other person. Secrets lead to lies, lies lead to hurt feelings, hurt feelings lead to broken relationships and so on. The only solution is to stop having secrets. Not an easy thing.

We have to understand from the beginning, when we are considering having a secret, that it will be found out by those we are trying to protect. It will come out. The longer something is kept secret, the more it will hurt. So why try it from the start? What is the point of a secret?

If you have something you don't want someone to know, don't tell them. Don't tell anyone. Or save yourself the agony and stress, rip the band aid off and tell the person right away how you feel. Trust me; in all cases, no matter how tough it is to tell and no matter how much the person is hurt by what is said, in the long run, not having a secret to start with is the best for all involved.

Did You Know

I am a human sponge for useless trivia. Sometimes I tend to make people feel uncomfortable when I sound off with something ridiculous I read about from hear or there, something I saw during my daily dive into the web surf, or something I may have seen on the inside of a Snapple lid. Whatever it is I say, it is mostly to answer a debated question or perhaps just a bit o' knowledge to entertain.

Did you know the most deadly spider is the blah blah blah?
Did you know the record for the longest time watching television while standing on a stool with one leg missing is blah blah blah blah blah?
Did you know the most famous blah blah became famous originally because of blah blah blah?

You get the idea.

A few weeks ago I was handed a question written by one of my third graders in Sunday school and it stumped me. It is written on a lime green card and right now I have it posted above my desk so I have to see it everyday. Scribbled as though it was written in a hurry with a simple ball point pen are the words: "Do you know God is with you?" I have never been more challenged by a simple question.

Do I? I don't know. I know I don't act like it all the time. I know that He will never leave me and I know that He has been with me before when I needed Him the most, but do I know He is with me right now. In this moment. Here.

Sometimes it is the easiest trivia questions that are the hardest to remember.

What Are You Supposed To Say

What are you supposed to say to someone when you find out they are divorced or even simply going through a rough patch in their relationship?

To answer this question, let's first rule out what doesn't sound right:

Sorry about that.
Too bad.
They are really missing out.
Tough beans.
Better luck next time around.
Congratulations?
Oooo...Ouch!

So those are the obvious ones used all too often and mostly inappropriately. Saying you are "sorry to hear that", doesn't allow you to say whatever pops into your head right after that moment either. (Sorry to hear that. What a terrible person your spouse was. etc.) The problem is whenever people hear about a relationship not working or a marriage failing, they feel a need to either fix it right then and there, pretend like they never imagined something like divorce still existed, or ignore it like it isn't a big deal and try to persuade you, you are better off now.

The truth is there isn't anything magical to say to make people feel better about their breakup. It is their breakup and not yours; you don't have to fix it. It is nice to know someone out there cares but no one outside of those two people really understand their relationship or where it went wrong. They are the only two people that can work it out regardless of the advice or empathy you have to offer.

General Guidelines:
Let them know you care about them.
Be available to talk when they are ready.
Do not take sides.
Do not offer advice unless asked.

Trust that because they shared such an intimate detail with you, they trust you to be there for them. These things take a lot of time and a lot of comfort. It might not come from you, now, and it certainly won't come from "there are plenty of fish in the sea". Just love them sincerely and maybe think about buying this shirt.

skreened.com

Feel Bad

We have become centered around feelings and emotions that are fleeting at best. We are constantly being told we should do whatever makes us feel good, just follow your heart, whatever makes you happy. All of those are terrible ways to live and even worse to encourage kids to do those things.

It is ok to feel bad. It is only when we feel bad that we appreciate feeling good. You never look back in a moment of contentment and think about that terrible thing that happened to you that one time. No. Instead, when you feel bad, you remember the good times you had. Those moments when you were at your best, no matter how short lived they may have been at the time, always come back to be treasured.

It is ok to feel sad. So many times when we feel sad we ignore it. When we want to cry we wipe the tears away before anyone can see. Being sad, crying, and allowing yourself to feel those things in the moment entice compassion and sympathy for the human condition. I have a handful of movies I own just for this purpose. When I feel sad, I watch one of those movies I know will get me to tear up. Instead of crawling into bed and sinking into a pit of depression, allow yourself to feel sad once in a while. Have a good cry. When you are in control of the sad times, you will be surprised how truly relieved you feel.

It is ok not to be happy. When you are not happy, if you realize it and catch yourself feeling that way, it can be a great encouragement to step out of your comfort zone and make someone else's day. The best thing for me to do when I am not feeling "happy" is to find someone feeling the same and doing whatever it takes to cheer them up. Sometimes it just takes you being empathetic to their emotions. Sometimes it takes you making your belly button talk. Whatever it is, making someone else feel happy will change the way you feel about the way you feel.

We Are Men Of Action

Men are doers. We are creatures of activity. We seek adventure and new worlds to explore. We have been this way since the beginning and yet some of us have chained ourselves down to one thing or another.

From the very first one of us, we have been men with responsibilities. Our jobs are, on the surface, simple ones; protect and provide for ones family. When we are not focused on these things we tend to wander in our purpose. The un-focusing of directive has led us to conquer, explore and battle each other for resources and or power. Men have always needed something to do. We became great learners and engineers. We would be the hard labor of the workforce and we would be made to perform unimaginable feats. We developed entire civilizations, made ways for food and water to be continually supplied, and made ourselves comfortable in our homes.

Over time we have grown soft in body and spirit and weak in mind in comparison to our ancestors. We spend hours toiling over menial tasks with no outcome, just a paycheck at the end of the week. We "work" days on end sitting in a chair staring at a screen, or in a meeting, or in a car.

I do not mean to belittle anyone with these words, but I would like to remind the men out there to stand up and be men. Be the great minds and the great builders of our age. Be apart of the new wave of fathers who instruct their children in the way they should go. Live a life worthy of the next generation's awe and wonder. Centuries from now, what will they think of the lives we lived? Those of you who know you are leaders, now is the time for you to stand up.

Stop building fanciful worlds and false realities online and make a difference in your family and in your community. Show the world what you are made of. Are we men of idleness and worthlessness or are we men of action and of greatness?

How To Succeed

People live their lives according to their own set of rules. I also have a set of rules to live by. Some of these include: The Golden Rule (if I need to explain this or describe what I am referring to, please stop reading now.), Help everyone you can with whatever you have, Do things right the first time, Honesty is the best policy but sometimes so is holding your tongue, and several others that I will write about later.

The truth of the matter is that in order to achieve success, many times you have to offer yourself to the undesirable option first. This is a lesson I have had to learn the hard way so to save you some trouble let me narrow my thinking down to this:

To be a great leader one must be a great servant.

To be a great teacher one must be a great student.

To be a great writer one must be a great reader.

Obviously I have yet to achieve greatness in the above mentioned fields but I am reading more than ever, I have found myself doing more studying than ever before just to feel confident enough to teach my Sunday school class, and I am constantly seeking out ways to reach out to people. I have a lot of work to do and many more lessons to learn. If you have anything to add, please feel free to in the space provided below. 

Moving On

After a terrible incident like a death in the family or divorce or even a simple break up, it has always been the good friend that takes you aside and tells you that everything is ok. "You'll be fine. You just need to remember the good times you had and move on. Live your life." While on the surface that seems like a great idea and while the friend is always well meaning in these cases, it is not the moving on that is the most difficult. For me, the hardest thing to do, is to be ok with moving on.

After my divorce and I slowly returned to my normal self, I seemed to be bombarded with life changing decisions. New job or bad job? New town or same old, same old? New girl or single for the rest of my miserable life? I was able to make a lot of big moves with little hesitation but the one that seemed the easiest at the time has become one of my biggest hang ups.

I moved, got a new job, made new friends, and stopped saying no to trying new things. It was all going so well until someone would try to set me up on a date or awkwardly mention to me someone had a crush on me. What are we? 12? No matter in what way I met these women, I would immediately hesitate. The problem was I was not ready to move on in that direction yet. I had a good run and I invested a lot of myself the first time around. Truth is, I was scared of what would happen if I really let myself get involved again. I would begin to think about all the good times and then remember all of the bad ones then not be interested any more. I had moved on but wasn't ok with me moving on yet.

This may sound like the ramblings of an idiot but many of you have felt the same way I am sure. It is a feeling almost like survivors remorse. Thank goodness I made it through that terrible situation, but why me? Why am I ok with being like this? I shouldn't be this happy this soon.

It has been over a year now and I am ready to be ok with moving on.

True Holiday Films

Everyone loves a good Christmas movie, but what is it that sets the good ones apart from all the others out there? When you think about holiday films what comes to mind? Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, or Santa Baby 2? (side note: part 2 is as terrible as part 1 and an equal waste of time)

I love the classics. They are classic for just that reason; you can watch them every year and not be tired of them. Charlie Brown's Christmas is a favorite because when it was made it was revolutionary. Children doing cartoon voice overs were a rare thing and for them to be in a television special was something unusual. The stop animation films are chock full of character due to the fact that they are chock full of characters. Who could forget the Charlie in a box or the Winter Warlock or even the background personality of Joshua the camel from The Little Drummer Boy shining into the forefront? These short films have become as much apart of our holiday celebrations and traditions as decorating the tree or fruitcake.

Let us not forget to recognize the newer Christmas favorites such as A Christmas Story, Edward Scissorhands, Muppet Christmas Carol, The Nightmare Before Christmas, or Elf. These movies have also become classics in their own right. Tim Allen's Santa Clause 3? Not so much.

This holiday season I know it can be easy to turn to Lifetime for a horribly crafted drama centered around a holiday. Before you go down that road, ask yourself "will I want my kids to enjoy this for generations?" If the answer is no, I encourage you to change the channel or perhaps pop in that old VHS tape of Frosty The Snowman you recorded ten years ago. You hung on to that VCR for something.

Future Future

Dear Future,

The 80's were uneventful, the 90's were drab, 00's were full of uneasiness, and so far the preteens or whatever they will eventually call this section of the new century have been reckless and greedy. If I could have a hope for the future it would be for it to not dig itself any further into the pit of selfishness.

Granted, at this point in my life I have not seen everything and I have still much to learn, but from the small portion of the human condition I have shared, it seems slowly degrading. We as a people have to pull ourselves together, give ourselves up to the needs of others, and still not become communists.

On the upside we have seen great leaps forward in technology and communication these past few years. If the future was able to keep up with the pace I expect we should be on mars and have flying cars sometime three years from now.

I have much hope in you future. Please don't let me down.

Future Reader

I sincerely apologize.

If you are still reading this in the future, you are one of the few. You have read my ramblings on several topics from divorce and relationships to politics and religion. They say the road to a successful blog with many readers is to have a single topic and stick to it. I say, "Nah."

Thank you for putting up with me.

I hope the time we have spent together has been productive and hopefully inspiring or at least thought provoking. I hope you have been able to get a word in yourself. (That comment area is there for you to participate in the conversation.)

You have been the daily encouragement I needed and the sounding board I could not live without.

Thank you.

Future Self

Really? You went so far as to write yourself a letter? You arrogant idiot.

You are older now and probably not too much wiser but I hope you are happy with the choices you have made to bring you to the point where you are now reading your own blog. Up to the time I wrote this to you, you were a guy just making your way but I hope by the time you read this you have come up with some way to inspire and influence others.

I hope you had the guts to do the things you wanted to do and the humility to accept the things you couldn't change. By my estimate you should be a husband, father, business owner, community leader, published author, academy award winner, stunt pilot, developer of the voice activated pet hair trimmer, and dental hygienist. Wow. You are amazing.

I have to confess, I am a bit envious of your life now (or is it then?) once you accomplish the great things I know are in store for you. Then again I am really looking forward to the journey.

Future Wife

Hey Honey,

I thank God for you everyday. You are so amazing and I am so glad I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I know I have goofed in the past but I know what I have learned along the way has led me to you. You take such good care of me and our kids. When I see you with them, my heart just melts. I am so glad you are their mother. I am positive a lesser woman would have up on us a long time ago but you are so patient and loving.

There are so many people, myself included, that are just in awe of you. You are so strong and supportive of others. As intelligent as you are and funny to boot, when I met you I could have sworn you were unavailable, but from the moment our eyes met, you have been entirely devoted to me and I have never doubted that.

You are so precious to me it is hard for me to describe. You are admired by many, respected by all, and loved by me. You deserve the world and so much more I can't give you but for what it is worth, you have all of me. I know I tell you this everyday but I love you so much.

Thank you for choosing me.

Future Kids

Dear Future Kids,

I hope you are doing well and taking good care of Mom. I trust that you are doing well in school or whatever that online course is that you do now is called.

I have a hard time imagining the world that you live in. To think you will never know what it means to tape a show on tv or make a mix tape let alone what a tape of any kind is. I know that physical data sharing and saving is such an old way of doing things but I can remember when my family had to go to the video store to rent a movie.

You will not have understood some of the stories I have shared with you like that time I got stuck on line at the post office for two hours trying to mail a letter. You don't even know what a letter is; how to write one or how to send it to someone via postal service. I remember you looked at me so strangely when I told you about telephone books, phones that only made calls and were connected to a line in the wall, and having to look things up in books. You don't even really understand what it was like to have a debate with someone over trivial things. We used to spend hours going back and forth about who was the greatest hitter of all time or what the name of that movie was we saw a year ago. You just look it up now without having to think at all. Not only do you not know what it is like not to have instant access to everything online but you have it with you at all times now. That is so strange to me.

You may be reading this on your holographic 3D screen in your car dashboard, but my message is the same no matter what. I love you so much and I am proud of you.

Now at least look like you are driving safe, turn this off and watch the airspace in front of you.

p.s. sorry about the o-zone but we really didn't think it was a real thing when they told us about it.

Never Too Late

The rain has stopped but the road is still glossy. The only light I can see is from the headlights and those from the strip mall parking lots and gas stations reflecting off the now fast moving clouds. Windshield wipers start to squeak as if to remind me they are done doing their job for the night. It is a good reminder when you are driving as distracted as I am right now. I shut them off but now the splashing of my tires through the puddles left over are all that I can hear. It is almost a soothing white noise and still frustrating knowing I just washed the car two days ago. I took the extra time to wax it too after hearing the girl on whatever news station that was say it was going to be dry all this week. Lame.

But the rain, my car, and the crappy weather reporting this town puts up with on a daily basis are not enough to take my mind off of what is really going on. I speed down the shadowed two lane road toward home knowing I am really only driving further from where I wanted to be. With you.

It was a rough night of listening to you vent about everything I've done wrong for the last couple of months. It was like having my life flash before me but only highlighting the bad parts. Sitting there hearing you bringing up that time I forgot to call your sister on her birthday, the time I hesitated when you asked me if that cashier in the store was cute trying to even recall who you were talking about, and the time I said I didn't want to go out with you to that party your friend from high school was throwing at her Mom's house...Suddenly I woke up from the shock of what I was hearing.

Did you forget the time I surprised you on your birthday and took you away for the weekend, every time I told you I loved you and you said nothing back, and the countless times we saw the movie you wanted to see and do the things you wanted to do when there were always other options for me? Did those times not count? Did anything I did for you, sacrificed for you, or said to you matter at all? Well, it did to me.

The seasons are obviously changing and the rainstorm tonight was evidence of more changes to come. I suppose it was evidence of one more I didn't see coming. I pull up to the flashing stop light and change directions.

To Protect and Serve

It seems like such a simple motto.

Step One: protect

Make sure no harm comes to those not only close to home but also anyone who needs it. Watch over everyone and when they need you, you are prepared to step in. On a daily basis, guard the physical safety of those around you and defend the rights offered to them through years of suffering and sacrifice.

Step Two: serve

Be the light in the darkness, the bulwark in the storm and the provider of not only safety but well being. Defending the not just the privileges afforded to us in this country but assisting in the provision of the basic human needs of shelter, clothing, food, water, and dignity. 

The hardest part of maintaining this oath has to be that not all of us, all the time appreciate the sacrifice made each day by those who carry it out. We have all heard about officers and other service personnel laying down their lives for random people they don't know. But what we sometimes forget is the families of these individuals that give up the most important people in their lives so that they can be there for us.

Thank you for what you do.

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Cookies

I love a good cookie. Soft but not cakey, solid but not crunchy. I'm sort of a cookie snob.

If you are checking out his blog for how to make these cookies, there are other blogs about that sort of thing. I am no baker.

Tonight I tried a new cookie made from the unusual combination of chocolate chips and pumpkin. Now I'm sure if you grew up on a pumpkin farm or lived somewhere pumpkins are lining the street, you have tasted this variety of cookie before. I had not. But as I tasted them I was reminded of a few very important things.

I was reminded that I love cookies. I love cake and pie and candy, sure, but cookies hold a special place for me. They are small and not too filling and they are a wonderful way to break the ice in a new place. Introduce cookies at a new job or church function and you instantly have a circle of friends around you.

More importantly than the reminder of my love of cookies, was the reminder to try new things. If I had looked at that cookie and decided before hand it was too "weird" of a combination or if I had thought the fact that I had never heard of these cookies before was a good enough reason not to try it, I would have missed out on something wonderful.

Even more importantly than trying new things, I was reminded of how sometimes strange things that don't seem like they go well together can turn out some amazing results when allowed to do their own thing together. It can be a great thing to have people like you around you but when you invite those not like you to be a part of your world, it can be awesome.

Thanks for the cookies Matt. Thanks even more for the life lessons. Now, go bake me a cranberry pie to learn from.

This Blog is "Occupied"

Watching the "occupation" in major cities is quite an entertaining venture. I have been watching carefully for anything of substance and have been so far let down entirely.

I had hoped for real change to take place, for real people to make their voices heard and for the world to hear. I strongly believe people need to voice opinions in protest and thought at first that the "occupy" idea would really catch on. Not with these idiots though.

Have you looked at the faces of the protesters? Have you seen the hardship behind their eyes? Have you seen the suffering of the families affected by the...uh, what are we protesting again? Some of the people in the crowd (and by crowd, I mean the fifteen or so of them on one corner surrounded by the three and a half dozen camera crews) are truly serious and dedicated persons of conviction and to them, I tip my hat. To the guy holding a sign that says "hi mom" and waving from behind the reporter, shut up and go home.

Some people say that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. I say, if you don't have anything to say, go home and let the people who care have their voices heard. The real revolution will take place without a facebook page and won't be led by hippies.

Last Day

Something about me you should know: I have never been fired.

I have always had the ability to slide out the door right before things either really get bad or before I do. I have always been able to exit gracefully from a scene if not truly welcome or appreciated. Today I managed to do it once again but only just barely.

I held on to my last job as long as I possibly could because it was so easy. Everyday it would be the same thing being served to the same customer and there was little room for creativity. That part I was able to funnel into my writing and other portions of my life and I was thankful for that, but it slowly turned me bitter knowing that I was not allowed to use that side of my brain for the majority of the day. I knew if I was only allowed the opportunity I could make some real amazing things happen. But no one really cares when you are just one lonely cog in the machine. Shut up and keep your head down was a phrase I would have to remind myself of daily and it broke me.

As mentioned before, I held on a little to long. It was a paycheck (and not a very good one), steady and fair for the kind of work I was performing. I had a good boss who made sure my hours were regular, but I was unhappy, unfulfilled in a job I knew was not meant to last. I found myself in a new place, starting a new life away from everything and everyone familiar only to wind up doing something I didn't want to do. Why would I move out to California to do a job I could very well have done back home? Sure I have bills, but I have principles too. And so, after considering everything, I turned in my notice.

Side note: turning in a notice is terribly confusing for a business whose turnover is usually due to walk-outs.

I have no job to jump right into (yet). I have no savings (maybe a month or two worth). I have a few prospects for the future but nothing secured. And I feel great. I will feel better of course doing something I love for money, but I am no longer doing anything just for the money like before. I feel confident great things are in store that I will never regret making myself available for. So this is what if feels like to follow your dreams...

Adult Birthday

Tomorrow I will have been myself for 29 years. That, in my opinion, is a long time. I have no idea what things will be like tomorrow as a 29 year old. Considering I have always thought that at 20 you were an adult and at 25 you are old, 29 is a fool's age. I have always been taught to respect my elders, but now I am one.

To answer the question, yes, I am having a party. No, not a par-tay, just a party. A few friends getting together for a simple meal and good wine around a fire if the weather holds out. Sounds boring to some of you I'm sure but keep in mind, I am an old man now.

I was asked what I want for my birthday. Good question. What are you supposed to say as an adult? Of course there is a long list of stuff that would be cool to have. Lots of fun gadgets and I will never be too old for Legos. But I also could use a new electric razor, or a comforter for my bed. Some new floor mats for my car would be nice and I would really appreciate someone paying my rent next month. But those are things that old people want right? Not for a guy's birthday.

Then I was asked the most important question I have been asked this week and trust me, this has been no easy week. "What do you want to do with your 29th year?" Wow. Great question..... I have no idea.

I want to get through my twenties with a bang. I want to do all the things everyone always regrets not doing until they were too old to enjoy them. I want to rock climb in the mountains and go on a whale watching tour in the ocean. I want to fly in a glider and spend a sunrise in a balloon. I want to go scuba diving and deep sea fishing, hang gliding and motorcycle riding. This next year will be a year of "do" for me. A year of wonderful experiences only few have had. You know, before my hip goes out.

Lost Boy

The holidays are already taking over the department stores. It is a sad display in California when they decorate palm trees with lights and hang evergreen wreaths shipped in from thousands of miles away. People are already on edge when driving even remotely close to a mall or mega-store. Egg nog flavored everything is available from milkshakes to lip gloss. All of these sights and smells to take in have us all on high alert making sure we get our due. With our blood pressure high and our hearts racing sometimes we forget the most important things. Matt is one of those things.

At only four years old, this tension is something he can only feel but not quite yet understand. The people all around him are ignoring him but then suddenly and without warning he will have people gushing over him. They all say the reason for all of these decorations and shopping is for him, to make the holidays special for him and the other kids, but he hardly feels like it is.

He gets dragged to the over crowded mall and then shoved into the car loaded up with bags of stuff he is not supposed to look at or touch. His parents get home and immediately send him to his room to keep him from seeing the wrapping process and then three hours later let him in to help pick up the scraps of ribbon strewn about on the floor.

Play time is alone with "Santa Claus is coming to town" playing on the radio for the tenth time today. He is four. Do they really think he believes in Santa? Did they forget he went to the store and was there when the purchase was made?

Maybe it is all for fun and maybe they really think they do it all for the kids. But he saw the kid to adult ratio while trick or treating. Who do they think they are fooling?

Working Tourist

For the last several weeks I have put my job on hold to volunteer at a local winery during the harvest. In the months leading to this life changing experience, I begged the owner/winemaker to let me help. He cautioned me that the work would be hard and dirty. We would be working long hard days with little to no time for instruction but if I thought I could tough it out, he would allow me to help. I had no way to understand what I was really in for but I was excited nonetheless. I am a hard worker and am accustomed to long days, but it was as hard if not harder than they described it to be.

Those of you that may enjoy a good wine may have some idea of the time it takes for the wine to become the final product but until you are shoveling eight tons of fruit, preparing it for fermentation, you are unaware of the amount of human labor required. Arriving at quarter to six and picking grapes in the dark until the sun finally comes up, you begin to live life in the unglamorous, little recognized world of wine.

There is much that happens in the cellar before it goes to the bottle and I saw and did it all. Fermentation, pressing, barreling, racking, and cleanup. Constant cleanup. Everything is scrubbed and hosed down several times over. You get to a point where you don't even care how wet you are or how black your hands are stained by the grapes. (You have not experienced wine until you have had "harvest hands".) It was all so amazing I can hardly describe it in this tiny blog. But if you ever have the chance, take it. Jump in with both feet and go with it.

I was not paid for my time but I wouldn't trade the lessons I learned in that field, in that cellar, in that tasting room, or in that press (yes, in the press. it has to be cleaned somehow.) for anything.

Jobs Plan

I don't consider myself a politically driven person but I believe as a citizen of this country it is important to remain informed so when it comes time to vote, I can make an educated decision. Or at least know which way to hope for when I flip a coin. Either way, I do follow things as they happen and as you would have guessed the economy is at the forefront of many debates along with employment and taxes.

I had a thought the other day that might very well put an end to all of those issues. I developed my jobs plan in a single evening so if it has its flaws please point them out.

1-8-5

Each person should have one job, work it eight hours a day, only five days a week. I think the idea that there are no jobs is false. There are enough jobs, but those of us with jobs each have two or more to cover taxes and health care or simply because we as a society have been living outside of our means for so long. If we were able to work one job and be paid enough for it to allow us to live above the poverty line (16,000/yr) and within our own salaries, the taxes that we pay into programs like welfare and social security could be lowered and that little extra could be translated into new purchases to boost the economy.

That was way too heavy for this arena I know, but I thought it was an interesting, somewhat out of the box idea and thought I would share it.

I will leave you with this last thought:

When I was working as a high school custodian, there was a navy seal retired named Jerry that also worked with us. He was a great guy and a hard worker but he had a saying that never left me; "You work eight hours, you sleep eight hours, you have eight hours of fun." Sounds like a good plan to me.

When Life Hands You A Lemon

...make lemonade.
...trade the lemon for an apple.
...say "screw you lemon!" and bail.

There may never be a right answer to this particular question but one thing is certain; life is full of lemons. Either that, or all of you are sending me your lemons, which is quite thoughtful of you. Thank you. They were lovely.

I have always been a terrible car picker-outer. My first love was the 1978 Cadillac Sedan DeVille. Man, I loved that car. You know how some people say to look at the amount of time and money you invest in an area and see how much you really love something? If the car would have been a beautiful, intelligent woman, we would still be together today. Unfortunately for me, it wasn't. It was a car. One requiring a lot of attention. Needless to say, the old girl and I parted ways only in time for me to fall into another money pit: the 1993 Grand Prix.

It looked nice and far newer, but as was with many of the cars manufactured in the 90's, it was not up to par. I continued this pattern for the next ten years. I would buy lemons to replace other lemons. This only ever proved to be a sour choice. (come on. almost a year of writing and only one pun? let me have it.)

The older I get, the more I realize how the choices I make whether it is the car I drive or where I work or even who I choose to associate with, these choices have a greater impact on me in the long run. I loved my Cadillac, but if I had the cash in my pocket that I spent on that car to replace just about every part you can think of, lets just say I would not have to worry about making the rent for the next few years. If I had decided to join the Navy right out of high school, I would have been out and had health benefits by now. If I had decided to wait just one more year to really be sure I was ready to get married, we probably wouldn't have ended up together and I would have saved myself a lot of trouble.

But I am grateful for the lessons I learned by making the choices I made. I now know what I need in a spouse instead of what I thought I wanted in a companion. I went to college instead, realized it wasn't for me and had a great ten year carrier doing something I loved. And thanks to that old hunk of gold painted steel (that's right, gold.), I am not afraid of getting dirty under the hood of a car.

So what do you do when life hands you lemons? So far, I am simply thankful for them.

Banter

How much of a human's lifetime is lost to idle chatter? Banter is the forgotten moments of talking, small or otherwise, that make good moments in your life great. Without it we would spend that time with our friends and family, coworkers and aquaintences, in silence.

On the other hand, maybe that wouldn't be so bad. Perhaps that is something we are all missing. We have plenty of chances to talk, but how often are we encouraged (in a positive way) to be still and listen even when the other person is silent. We should be comfortable in our silence with each other. I think being still in the presence of someone else demonstrates true intimacy.

I love when people fall asleep on my couch or in my car. It shows me the person feels safe and comfortable.

If only we felt that safe and secure with those we banter with.

Please Don't Push Me

I am sure there are times when I refuse help I really shouldn't. When I go to lift something heavy and there is another guy in the room, I will sometimes refuse the offer to assist me in my endeavour. When I have been stuck on the side of the road due to a flat tire and while in the middle of changing it someone stops to see if I need a hand, I usually (always) let them know I am in control of the situation but thanks anyway. I know that these are people who truly want to make life a little easier on others, like me, who get in jams sometimes and could use another somebody to help them out. Thank you to those of you who are those people. You make a difference everyday. For those of you pushing the membership cards at supermarkets, give it a rest.

Where I live, like so many of you out there, the loyalty cards to supermarkets have become points of pride. I know one guy (and probably more) who has seventeen loyalty cards twisted onto his key ring. One for the gas station near the house, one for the gas station near work, one for the grocery store, one for the other grocery store that has that brand of hot dogs I like, and so on. So much for loyalty. But this is not where my story is headed.

Today I was asked if I possessed such a card for the particular store I was shopping at. I said no and proceeded to hand the cashier the twenty dollar bill I intended to pay with. When I answered "no", she stopped, looked at me almost out of pity and said, "Why not? It's free." I told her I was not interested. She was not going to let it go. "But you could save a lot of money with one. You should get one. Here, I will let you fill out the information card right here and I will turn it in for you. Now what did I do with my pen?" Once she let me get a word in, I explained this was a one time purchase and that I do not shop regularly in this store. Now I had hurt her feelings. She scanned the item and with a look of disappointment, handed me my change.

I am sure she was only trying to give me a leg up in this rough economy, but if I say no thank you, please continue to let me purchase the item I came in for and leave without the additional harassment. Don't push me into making a commitment of loyalty I do not intend on keeping.

Meet Cute

 A man and a woman sit quietly across the room in a popular coffee shop. They notice each other right away but are both too shy to introduce themselves to the other.

He pretends to not notice her and attempts to read his paper, drink his coffee, and mind his own business but can not help himself to a second look, and then another. She glances his way just for a second wishing for the chance that their eyes will meet but he quickly ducks his head into the world news section to avoid any discomfort.

She, disappointed, returns to the simple plot mystery she had found in the seat next to hers on the subway. She was only interested in the book because it had no front cover and the pages appeared to be leafed through over and over as though it was at one time someones favorite. She loved the idea that something that was once so precious to another was now hers to enjoy.

A small round man enters the shop and marches straight to the counter. He makes a point to the barista that he comes into this shop all the time and has never left satisfied by the service offered. The woman, weary from the day of dealing with this same type of customer since four in the morning, takes a deep breath and promises him the coffee of a lifetime. A few minutes pass and she has his special ordered small latte with extra sprinkles. He takes the lid off and sees the extra sprinkles he had ordered in the shape of a happy face He is overwhelmed. He looks at her, and slowly a tear forms in his eye. She smiles at him and he at her and then he turns and walks away out the door.

Having witnessed this scene of human emotion in an otherwise bland little coffee shop, the two strangers once again exchange looks from across the room. He gathers his courage and leaves his paper behind. He walks up to her and asks what she was reading. She responds with the title. He smiles and says, "I love that book. I had a copy, but I lost it today on the subway."

(just a little fiction to get you thinking)

Candy Wrappers

When I was about nine, I started making a little money doing extra chores around the house. We never had an allowance so what I only had money for the extra things I would offer to do. I would earn two dollars for each side of the car I washed (if a sibling was helping, this made splitting the money easier). I could earn ten dollars for mowing the lawn, five for shoveling the snow from the driveway, fifty cents for taking the dog on a walk, and so on. I soon found out that with that money I could buy something I always wanted: to be the envy of my brothers and sisters.

Every now and then I would take whatever money I had earned, double tie my shoe laces and head up to the Dollar General. I would head straight to the candy aisle and go nuts. Twenty giant lemon heads, ten feet of bubble tape, three pounds of pixie stix and on and on the list would go. When all was paid for and I made the journey back home, the other kids in the family would swoon. Everybody wanted a taste. And I was happy to share as long as my ego was stroked for a minute or two.

What was left over after the feast of course was the pile of wrappers. A stack of paper and plastic picked and licked clean of the sweetness that it was once wrapped tightly around. The excitement had faded and the experience enjoyed in the moment but it was over and all we had to show for it was the time we shared and the heap of paper to remind us of it.

When one gets divorced you encounter an interesting dilemma. What do I do with all my pictures? That was my life. I was there and I lived it. Those were my experiences and my memories. So do I keep the remnants of the good times or throw away the tangible memories of the life I once shared with someone? Will I ever want to share them with anyone else and if so, why would I?

Do you keep the pile of wrappers to remind you of the sweetness you once tasted or do you simply look forward to the next opportunity to create more memories?

Uncle

Do you know why people cry out "uncle" in an effort of submission? It is because when a baby is born and one becomes an uncle (specifically when one becomes an Uncle Joe) you loose all sense of self and are completely surrendered to that child.

I do want to apologize to you regular readers as I have been less than consistent as of late, but I will blame that on the wrinkled thing that will soon enough call me Uncle Joe.

This is not the first time being an uncle for me. I have been Uncle Joe before to not only nieces and nephews but also to close friends and their kids. For me, whether called out in excitement or pain or while begging to stay up just a little bit longer to have a snack, the name cuts me to the quick. And I love it every time.

To be an uncle is more to me than just having another member of the family or being the sometimes babysitter. I  love walking into a room and hearing the surprised voice of a toddler cry out to me. I love getting cards in the mail addressed to Uncle Joe. Just the thought of the kids who know me as that makes me smile brings a glint of tears to my eyes.

I have written before about the fact that I love kids. Know what I love even more? Being completely available for them at a moments notice no matter what.

Mackenzie
aka: heart thief

Looks like another one has stolen my heart.
I give up.
Uncle.

Celebrity Encounter

When you work for an airline you tend to meet a lot of famous people.

I met George Clooney and Matt Damon on the sets of movies they were shooting in the airport in Saint Louis. I had a quick conversation with Paul Sr., Jr., and Mikey at a gate in La Guardia. I have shaken hands with the Secretary of Commerce, Agriculture, and Education while they waited for their secret service detail to arrive on the ramp in D.C.  I have rubbed elbows with billionaires, chatted with movie stars and had investment strategy conversations with business moguls but none of those occasions was as impactful as the time I met Jared. That's right, Jared from the Subway commercials.

The only way I knew it was him is because someone pointed him out to me in a crowd. Just a regular looking guy headed to Madison Wisconsin. I was leaving on the same flight and asked the gate agent (a good friend of mine) if there was a seat available next to him. To be honest, I had nothing to say to the guy except, "Hey, I know you. You're Jared" or something dippy like that. But I asked anyway. Turns out the seat next to him was taken so I took the seat across the aisle one row up. I followed (stalked) him as he boarded and was surprised that no one else knew who he was by now. I was not going to blow his cover so I said nothing.

The plane took off and so did the woman next to him. As I was eves dropping (as one would expect) she talked to him non stop the entire two hour flight about how her son was going to school and was doing so great on his own. She stopped to catch her breath only once to ask him what he did for a living. He told her he was helping to open a Subway in suburban Madison. She smiled said that was nice and continued to describe her son's plans for the future.

We arrived at the gate and after deplaning and while waiting for our over sized carry-ons to be handed back to us, I approached him with my boarding pass to sign. He was more than obliging. I think for a second he was glad to be recognized. I didn't bring any additional attention to him but instead quietly thanked him for his humility on the flight, told him I was proud of him for his accomplishments, and wished him the best. He handed me back my now signed boarding pass, we shook hands, and he thanked me. We went our separate ways and that was that.

Not as entertaining a story as driving Carmen Electra to her next flight or meeting the blind FBI training instructor that teaches close combat skills, but the example of humility from a B-list celebrity was the lesson I needed that day and is one I still carry with me.

What is your greatest celebrity encounter? Comment below to share your story.

Earthquake!

The other day I felt my first earthquake. I have been in big earthquakes before but never felt them. I have either been asleep or driving so I was unaware of them.

It was nothing crazy. Most people in the area didn't even feel it here being so used to them and generally unaware of their surroundings. I am more familiar with other acts of God such as tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, forest fires and so on. But I honestly did not know what to do the moment it happened.

I am a huge emergency nerd. I have a three day supply of packaged water and nutrition bars in my car. I have all the roadside flares, ropes, flashlights, first aid kits and hand crank powered radios one can possibly have and still be considered sane by most standards. I have a plan for just about anything that can happen and I am always the first guy on the scene of an accident. Fortunately for you I have all that stuff and am just the guy you need around for that sort of thing.

The earthquake happened so suddenly and was over before I knew it, I didn't have time to process it. I now am familiar with the sound that happens before and I have gone over my emergency plan several times since, but I suppose you never can be completely ready. But that won't stop me from making another trip to REI for more gear.

Confession of a Pre-Buser

This is not ok.

Growing up in a larger family, we were expected to clean up after ourselves. With all of us running around and my parents having just enough energy to corral us from one place to another, we needed to help out as much as we could.

After dinner, we would help clear the table, do the dishes (we didn't have a reliable dishwasher half the time I was growing up), put away the leftovers and make sure the table was wiped down. These habits carried over into our routine when we went out to eat as well. Even when I was out on my own as an adult or at a party at someones house, I would do the same things.

When I go out anywhere, I make sure before I leave my table to do the following:

- Stack the plates neatly with the utensils on top
- Glasses are emptied into one and arranged neatly at one end of the table
- Napkins folded in a stack
- Table wiped down
- Tip left in middle of the table held down by one of the glasses so it isn't blown away or stolen

If there is something I am forgetting, please leave a comment. I love making other peoples jobs easier.

What The Eff?

Replacement swear words have always bothered me more than their counter parts. When someone says, "Crap or get off the pot" we all know what was supposed to have been said. How the phrase goes is not changed by the use of the substitute and we all automatically replace it with the real word in our brains anyway. So does it do any effing good?

What will work is if we stop being so lazy with the words we use. Try something new for a change. Start using adjectives as they were meant to be used. Not everything needs to have an adverb describing what kind of jerk someone was to them today. Instead of this dang thing, how about, this thing over here.

I suppose if I were really clever I could suggest new replacement swear words but I think that would still bother me. If you are going to say something, it is ok to say it with flourish, but don't waste your time on made up swear words. We should be able to speak to one another without them in the first place but if you are going to swear you might as well use the authentic words that have gotten us this far.

Fun Parents

Do you want to go to Disneyland?

There are a lot of parents out there today conflicted by the question of whether to be the strict parent or the fun parent.

I saw a couple walk into a store the other day and it was a constant struggle with the one two year old they had with them. The child did not want to be there and the parents seemed unable to find the right thing to persuade the child to cooperate. They tried everything from bribes to empty threats. "Do you want to go to the pool? Do you want to go to McDonalds? Do you want some candy?" And on and on it went.

Now I tend to veer toward the stricter side of parenting but as I was thinking about what I saw, it came to me that all those things probably sounded good to the kid but I am sure this wasn't the first time those things had been offered. I was immediately struck by the child's passive attitude as though these were no longer special things any more. They probably go to McDonalds all the time and the pool is now old hat. In order for those things to be special they have to be sparse.

When I was growing up, going out to eat was a treat so when we went, we were on our best behavior. When we went to the pool, you can bet we didn't dive in the shallow end because if we didn't follow the rules, we wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. We didn't get candy when Mom went shopping. We didn't get what we asked for every time we went out somewhere and when we did, we appreciated it that much more.

Spare the rod, spoil the child...sure. Spare the goodies and be appreciated when you offer them. Fun parents, just relax. They may be upset for a little while but they will be better for it in the end. I promise.

Norm!

Everyone needs to be warmly greeted at least every now and then.

Whether you are a socialite or a shy, secluded hobbit, we all have a strange desire to be recognized by others. It doesn't have to be a grand entrance with a band playing or a loud announcement that you have entered the room. All we really need is that look of recognition.

That look from someone else across the room, a nod of the head or a simple wave of the hand is the gesture we need to remind us we belong. Maybe not even to a place or club. Perhaps it's just nice to know that someone knows us. That we belong to someone else. That we are not alone in whatever it is that we are going through.

Try this at work: Greet one (or all) of your co-workers in the morning in a way that lets them know you recognize them. Stop acknowledging that it is "morning" to each other and really let each other know you're in it together. You will be surprised what a difference it can make for them and when it happens to you, soak it in and know you belong.

People Are Crazy

But I'm normal.

Most people feel this way. But maybe that's why we are all crazy. We are always referring to other people as crazy and stupid and that everybody is a terrible driver except me. Come on. You know you have. But what if, when you say or even think that in your head, you take a closer look inward? What would you find?

There are always those few and far between times where we all do stupid things. It isn't that we are stupid but we all do it sometimes. Sometimes I ask stupid questions like, "where is the peanut butter?" and of course the answer is always "right in front of you". Duh! Sometimes I have had to cut someone off in order to take the right exit in an area I am unfamiliar with or shame on me for not turning on my blinker every time I should.

The next time the guy in front of you in line at Burger King asks the cashier what kind of burgers they have or the lady in front of you drives a little slower than the speed limit because she isn't quite sure what street to turn on, cut them some slack.

We are all crazy sometimes. Let others have their turn.

I want to ride my bicycle

Help! I am turning into a Californian and have given serious consideration to selling my car and riding my bike to work and everywhere.

I looked into it and my car would be easy to sell and in doing so, I would be able to save a ton of money. No insurance, no gas, no regular maintenance costs. The whole plan was set and ready to be put into place. Then I went to go buy a bike.

The first shop visited was a small, local place apparently frequented by the hippie elite with money to spend on elegant bike attire but not haircuts or t-shirts without holes. When asked about the cost of a new bike, and I was unable to accurately describe what make, model and size required, I was quietly mocked. With my ego bruised by the scoffing hobos, I moved on to the next place.

Another local place, but a little more on the pricey side. Walking through the front door, the smell of fresh tire rubber filled my nostrils almost identical to that of a car dealership. I was greeted with a smile, walked around the store and taken on a ride around the block on the "cheap" model. It was amazing. Then I was smacked in the face with the price. Buying a bike is one thing, but then comes the helmet, water bottle, and on and on and on...I could buy a bike or feed a small country for a year.

I will be putting my bike riding on hold for a bit but I look forward to the experience. Don't rush me.