Surviving Christmas With Family

We all love the holidays. We all love our families. Not all of us love holidays with our families. I have a great family whom I love dearly, but there are a lot of times conversations are started that lead to arguments or at least tension around the tree and nobody really wants that. So this year I am putting together a list to help myself through but I thought it might be useful to others as well.

Things to avoid:
This may throw you off at first but hear me out; avoid Christmas with your family. If there are tensions or internal struggle, a lot of hurt feelings can actually be avoided, by one of the parties taking this year off. On the other hand, if at all possible, settle those differences before the happy day. Call up the estranged members of your family and make amends ahead of time. This will take a huge load off when the day arrives.

Avoid wall-flowering. It is only one day and for most, only a few hours so make the best of it. Get in on the conversations, play Scrabble with the grandparents, mix it up! In the end you will be more revered by your family and you will feel like you actually participated in something special this year.

Avoid your phone. Phone games are a great time waster but you are not here to waste time. You are here to celebrate and have a good time. If you're bored, entertain someone. Find the little kids and play blocks with them, find the teens and regale them with tales of when you were once their age, seek out the oldest person in the family and ask them all about how your holiday traditions came to be. When you go to a party, you should be talking to the people there and not reply-all-ing the thirty people who spammed everyone in their contact list with a generic "Merry Christmas everybody!" You have a smart phone. Good for you. Be smart by knowing when to put it down.

Things to do:
Make your own list. By preparing, you avoid much of the holiday drama. What are you going to say when your drunk uncle wants to arm wrestle you? Are you going to help with the dishes afterward or are you going to change your new niece's diaper while her mom helps clean up? Make these choices ahead of time and you will feel accomplished when the evening is through.

Talk to people you haven't spoken with for a while. Be sincere and really try to get to know someone in your family in a way that you didn't before. Avoid conversations about expectations, past mistakes, politics and babies. The last one may seem out of place until you realize on the way there, your cousin and her husband just had a conversation about whether to have another one or not and they can't agree. Trust me. No baby talk.

Make a new tradition. Sounds crazy at first but sometimes the best tradition is having a new one each year. Try something new on the table, a new game to play, a new routine, a new...anything really. You will be surprised at how many people are up for a change now and then.

I hope these help you this year. Merry Christmas to you and your crazy family from me and mine.