Watch any show on TV today and the cause of all suspense, drama, relationship strain, whatever, and you can trace it back to one person not being open with another. Reality or scripted, writers know there is no simpler way to divide people. The problem though is we see these individuals and characters keeping secrets and we act it out in our own lives. Monkey see, monkey do.
The trouble with secrets is that they are too easy not to keep. We are asked to keep a secret and immediately picture the ten people we are not supposed to tell. We see them coming up to us and asking us what's on our mind and we know we will have to lie eventually to protect the interests of the other person. Secrets lead to lies, lies lead to hurt feelings, hurt feelings lead to broken relationships and so on. The only solution is to stop having secrets. Not an easy thing.
We have to understand from the beginning, when we are considering having a secret, that it will be found out by those we are trying to protect. It will come out. The longer something is kept secret, the more it will hurt. So why try it from the start? What is the point of a secret?
If you have something you don't want someone to know, don't tell them. Don't tell anyone. Or save yourself the agony and stress, rip the band aid off and tell the person right away how you feel. Trust me; in all cases, no matter how tough it is to tell and no matter how much the person is hurt by what is said, in the long run, not having a secret to start with is the best for all involved.
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