Fun Parents

Do you want to go to Disneyland?

There are a lot of parents out there today conflicted by the question of whether to be the strict parent or the fun parent.

I saw a couple walk into a store the other day and it was a constant struggle with the one two year old they had with them. The child did not want to be there and the parents seemed unable to find the right thing to persuade the child to cooperate. They tried everything from bribes to empty threats. "Do you want to go to the pool? Do you want to go to McDonalds? Do you want some candy?" And on and on it went.

Now I tend to veer toward the stricter side of parenting but as I was thinking about what I saw, it came to me that all those things probably sounded good to the kid but I am sure this wasn't the first time those things had been offered. I was immediately struck by the child's passive attitude as though these were no longer special things any more. They probably go to McDonalds all the time and the pool is now old hat. In order for those things to be special they have to be sparse.

When I was growing up, going out to eat was a treat so when we went, we were on our best behavior. When we went to the pool, you can bet we didn't dive in the shallow end because if we didn't follow the rules, we wouldn't be coming back anytime soon. We didn't get candy when Mom went shopping. We didn't get what we asked for every time we went out somewhere and when we did, we appreciated it that much more.

Spare the rod, spoil the child...sure. Spare the goodies and be appreciated when you offer them. Fun parents, just relax. They may be upset for a little while but they will be better for it in the end. I promise.