What The Eff?

Replacement swear words have always bothered me more than their counter parts. When someone says, "Crap or get off the pot" we all know what was supposed to have been said. How the phrase goes is not changed by the use of the substitute and we all automatically replace it with the real word in our brains anyway. So does it do any effing good?

What will work is if we stop being so lazy with the words we use. Try something new for a change. Start using adjectives as they were meant to be used. Not everything needs to have an adverb describing what kind of jerk someone was to them today. Instead of this dang thing, how about, this thing over here.

I suppose if I were really clever I could suggest new replacement swear words but I think that would still bother me. If you are going to say something, it is ok to say it with flourish, but don't waste your time on made up swear words. We should be able to speak to one another without them in the first place but if you are going to swear you might as well use the authentic words that have gotten us this far.