Never Too Late

The rain has stopped but the road is still glossy. The only light I can see is from the headlights and those from the strip mall parking lots and gas stations reflecting off the now fast moving clouds. Windshield wipers start to squeak as if to remind me they are done doing their job for the night. It is a good reminder when you are driving as distracted as I am right now. I shut them off but now the splashing of my tires through the puddles left over are all that I can hear. It is almost a soothing white noise and still frustrating knowing I just washed the car two days ago. I took the extra time to wax it too after hearing the girl on whatever news station that was say it was going to be dry all this week. Lame.

But the rain, my car, and the crappy weather reporting this town puts up with on a daily basis are not enough to take my mind off of what is really going on. I speed down the shadowed two lane road toward home knowing I am really only driving further from where I wanted to be. With you.

It was a rough night of listening to you vent about everything I've done wrong for the last couple of months. It was like having my life flash before me but only highlighting the bad parts. Sitting there hearing you bringing up that time I forgot to call your sister on her birthday, the time I hesitated when you asked me if that cashier in the store was cute trying to even recall who you were talking about, and the time I said I didn't want to go out with you to that party your friend from high school was throwing at her Mom's house...Suddenly I woke up from the shock of what I was hearing.

Did you forget the time I surprised you on your birthday and took you away for the weekend, every time I told you I loved you and you said nothing back, and the countless times we saw the movie you wanted to see and do the things you wanted to do when there were always other options for me? Did those times not count? Did anything I did for you, sacrificed for you, or said to you matter at all? Well, it did to me.

The seasons are obviously changing and the rainstorm tonight was evidence of more changes to come. I suppose it was evidence of one more I didn't see coming. I pull up to the flashing stop light and change directions.