Morning Adventures Part II

Deep inhale. Slow exhale. Let's go.

The breeze is stiff and cold mimicking the way my legs feel. I jump a little to get the blood flowing and to remind my feet that they need to be awake for this. As I make my way to the end of the driveway doing arm stretches I learned in gym class circa 1987. Arm circles are totally what I need to do to prepare for the workout ahead.

One more deep breath knowing it will be my last full intake for a while and I begin. Pat, pat, pat, pat. I watch my feet move one in front of the other, almost not having to think about it but feeling tired already. I make it to the end of the block before my knee starts to freeze up and my ankle tightens to compensate. Stupid ankle. I push on trying to take in the early morning and savor it's innocence.

There is no one else out on the street but me. My neighbors are awake but they had the sense to remain indoors with their warm cups of coffee and their comfy couches. I see the windows glow with the flicker of the television set on the morning news or perhaps the infomercial on from the channel being watched the night before. That vacuum is amazing I must admit but I am sure the only purpose it serves this early is as background noise for teeth brushing and face shaving. I wonder how many of those vacuums they sell at 5:10 in the morning...

The yellow house with the brick mailbox catches my attention as the lawn sprinklers come to life. Someone doesn't understand that grass doesn't need to be watered twice a day this late in the fall. Oh well. I jog past the streams of water, being soothed by the soft shhhhh of the spray. I race the overflow in the gutter to the corner and make the turn thinking here would be a good spot to stop and take a breather but I hear my high school track coach's voice in my head telling my to "pick your feet up" and "mind over matter". He was also the science teacher so he used that last one a lot.

I take the advice to heart and press on. A dog barks which of course on this block leads to all the dogs barking at each other. Once the chatter dies down and I focus again on my breath or lack thereof. The road stretches out ahead of me, beckoning me to conquer it. Just you wait road. You'll get what's coming to you soon enough.

Morning Adventure Part I

Chimes.

What I thought would be the least annoying of the cell phone alarms, seem to come from a demon's triangle at 5am. After straining to reach it, and fumbling with it to get my code entered and the alarm turned off, my brain is officially strained before any real activity begins. I sigh heavily and fling my feet off the side of the bed in one motion. I have the same feeling I get when I jump into a pool in mid October but it's always better than the slow adjustment and eventual disappointment of slippers and a housecoat.

Tripping over my own foot and jamming my toe on the carpet, I make my way to the bathroom. Just to pee. Looking in the mirror at this hour of the day has never done anyone any good. One more heavy sigh, and I open the door as quietly as possible to not disturb my love who has now moved over to my side of the bed and already has a firm grip on my pillow. Looks like I'm not crawling back into bed after all.

I grab a pair of shorts from the dresser, and head to the living room. I don't know why, but I like getting ready here. More space I guess to spread out. I lace up my shoes and grab a light jacket from the coat closet, check my pocket for the house key and although I know she remains asleep, I slowly open and close the front door like a ninja as I tiptoe outside.

Deep inhale. Slow exhale. Let's go.

Epitaph For A Friend

He was the best friend that made other friends more comfortable. He was the dedicated and loyal one I came home to for years. He made himself available no matter what. When I needed someone to talk to or go out with, he was always there to encourage me. No matter what time of day or night, he was there for me. He listened, he cared, he felt what I felt. He came to me when he was hurting and I clung to him in times when I felt so alone.

At 3:15pm on October 19th, my closest friend in the world was laid to rest in the company and comfort of his family.

Tyson was not just my dog he was my boy. This wound up 2 year old puppy was given to me by a close friend, Mike, and it was an obvious instant connection. He came to me as a dog without a purpose but his purpose was soon revealed. As things in my world slowly came apart, he was my constant. He was with me on beautiful days outside chasing squirrels and sleeping on the floor beside me in front of the fireplace on the rainy ones. We shared the couch for movie nights and shared the comfort of each other on a daily basis.

Waking up to his whining in the morning on days I tried to sleep in. Playing tug of war with the rope and fetch with the stuffed duck. Running up and down the stairs a dozen times in a row. Scratching his belly and rubbing his ears. Wiping his slobber off my arm and his hair off my clothes. Feeding him, training him, teaching him tricks. He could jump up to the top bunk on a set of beds, roll over, shake hands, and respond to a series of clicks, whistles, and hand signals. These were my daily activities with him and I loved every minute of it.

If you were a child he would only play as hard as you wanted. If you were afraid of dogs, he would set you at ease. He was comforting and kind. He was loving and thoughtful. He was considerate and sweet.

He was a good dog.

He has been a key member of my family for over 8 years and has meant something special to many. He was the deciding factor on some major life choices my family made including where we moved and how we lived. Many of our plans revolved around his schedule and I believe he understood that sacrifice.

He was the best dog.

I believe he knew me better than many of my friends have. He has been with me through 5 moves, a divorce a marriage, and the torture of my newborn niece. He was my sole travel companion on my trip to California in the backseat of my tiny car. He adjusted well to the dramatic changes we experienced together and he did it with patience and understanding.

In the last year his health has quickly declined and it has been hard watching him hurt physically knowing he was completely content being with us. It was a hard decision and a tough day but I know he understood that I was taken care of and that what was happening was for his own good. I sat with him afterward for a long time feeling his fur under my fingers for the last time. He sighed hard and let go softly.

I will miss him because I loved him.

He was my best friend.

Maybe Just As Fair

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost - The Road Not Taken

In this classic piece, he describes the choice between the two roads and how that choice, looking back over a lifetime of additional choices has made all the difference. But what is not shared is what the decision would have brought had he chosen the other path. The truth is of course as relayed to us in the above poem, that we can only go one way before that choice begins to determine the way we see the world from then on.

What is not said is that the road less traveled is the better road. What would happen if he would have gone down the trail that others have taken? I am of course removing the metaphor here but the beauty of taking the well worn trail is the shared experience of that trail's journey. Once at the end he would meet others who have traveled that same trail, seen the same views, possibly tripped by that same rock on that one turn; you know the corner right after that huge oak tree with the branch that dips down overhead as though it is trying to reach down to you and grab you by the hand...

I love to be alone. I treasure the time I have to spend on a quiet run (although it is more walking lately) or the drive in the morning with the radio off listening to the quiet hum of the tire and the road or the soothing rhythm of my own footsteps. I love it but there is definitely something to be said about having a shared experience whether it be a good one the you regret later or one you tell your children about, whether it be with strangers or with loved ones, those shared sights and sounds are worth, every now and then, getting off the quiet trail and joining in the march together. When you do at least you know your fate will not be yours alone and that regardless of the destination, you will have picked up a few friends to remember "that one time when..."

Reminder

The events of the day should serve as a reminder to us. Not necessarily that we are a nation despised or a nation prepared. Not specifically that we have great leadership or wonderful volunteers. Today should serve as a reminder of what your life is really all about.

I know that sounds a little too deep and way to general so I will share with you only what went through my head today when I heard. I thought about home. Who was at home or where they might be if not. I thought about the people who would not be going home tonight but instead to a hospital or nowhere else ever again. I thought "what can I do?" but that was immediately replaced with "what am I doing?" and for the rest of the afternoon, the life I live seemed to be a distraction to my own thoughts.

The fact that every second of our lives is now in some way being recorded astonished me. It blew me away at how many different angles and vantage points were recording the stragglers of a race already won more than two hours earlier. I watched with horror over and over again, the reactions of those nearest the first event. There were all sorts of different people from different backgrounds and they all reacted instantly at the same moment.

Some dropped for cover and hid. Others grabbed the nearest person to them and held them close. Some just stood there and wondered what could possibly be happening while still others made a 180 and ran to assist those who needed it. I watched one man just a few feet away from finishing what I imagine was a goal taking up several months if not more of his life. Surprised by the noise and then turned around and went to help. All that training and work and it was more important to aid the wounded then to complete his own goals.

I have nothing to say about those no longer with us today. I did not know them or their lives but they did teach us to live in the moment and perhaps their loss can serve as a reminder to us to reset our own goals and perhaps make sure we don't turn our backs on those that need it to fulfill our own wants or needs.

The Best Kind Of Friend

Friends come in many shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds. Some are good for a lifetime and some are good for a short while. There are those whose shoulders you lean on in tough times and different ones when you need a laugh. It is hard to imagine life without all the diverse types of friends you meet along the way.

One of my favorite kinds of friends are those that love you no matter what and in doing so will tell you how it is whether you want to hear it or not.

At first it may sound like I am describing the funny friend but that is a totally different friend. The funny friend tells you a joke or a crazy, generally unbelievable story about who knows what. But when they share with you the one about the preacher and a rabbi deciding who jumps first, it is exactly what you need to hear at that moment. A little distraction from the terrible situation you're dealing with or the ticket you got that afternoon for going five over the limit. But I am not highlighting that friend today.

The friend I would like to place on the pedistool is the one that tells it like it is. The good with the bad. Sometimes with good timing, but mostly not. The things they say stick in your head and haunt you like a "you know you can do better" ghost. They say things like "you're a better person than that" and "you are someone special to someone" and "i miss when we used to be friends" or one of my new ones "Hmmm, too vague. Try again".

I love that friend. That is a person that cares about you so much they want to see you at your best. They want you to succeed and many times at the cost of your own pride and dignity. So the next time you feel your self needing a real boost, a life changing, direction altering, dig a little deeper boost, call that friend up and let them tell you how it is. And by all means take what they have to say to heart.

They are your friend after all...

Sudden Celebrity

Entertainers have been around as log as the human has needed to be entertained. That is, since there were humans. It has always been a necessity for people to be able to loose themselves in a spoken poem or drama or viral video, if only for a couple of minutes once in a while. Doing this allows us to put our own lives into perspective and to help guide our dreams, expand our creativity or to simply remember that one time Doug caught that fish and it was "this big".

Although entertainment has been common enough throughout the centuries the people that bring us that entertainment are (pardon the pun) dramatically different. In previous ages, entertainers were schooled in the arts. They were well versed in history, literature, makeup, costumes and so on and their profession was to be an actor or a storyteller. For the most part the entertainers we still mention today were at least by the end, intentional in their craft. However today it is a different creature that we flock towards.

Enter the sudden celebrity. This person has not ever even thought about being famous or being the one people look to. This person stumbled (sometime literally) into a video someone shot on their phone and BAM! Instant fame. This person has never raised his or her hand in elementary school and now they have people asking for their autograph and to have their picture taken with them. The rapid change from nobody to somebody is hard to handle. Ask "Joe the Plumber" or "Balloon Boy" or one of the hundreds of regular people that are thrust into the lime light by the masses begging for a minute of distraction.

Even in the last decade or so, we went from having "A List" celebrities to people that are famous now, just for being famous. Since when were famous people offered to do tv shows after they were famous? Shouldn't they prove first that they can be good entertainers before we dump on them the duty of constant celebrity?

I wonder if the history books will mention along with names like Thespis and Ariston will mention the cast of Big Brother season 13 or Antoine Dodson. Probably not. Not that those people are not special in their own way but let's not deem them celebrities just yet. And let's not rely on them or anyone else with that title to solve the worlds problems. Thanks for trying anyway Sean.

Dear To My Heart

(In no particular order and in no way all inclusive)

my wife

my mother

my father

my sister

my other sister

my brother

my other brother

(both from other mothers)

my wife's family and what can now be called my new one

my friends in Temecula

my friends in St. Louis

my friends in all the places I have lived, worked, done ministry and played

my dog

...just for starters 

The Mystery Of Why

There are several stages of childhood. There are the fussy newborns where everyone including the child is figuring things out. It takes a few months and soon behaviors develop that are cute and endearing. A funny look and a glimmer of personality and then it turns into the early ones. They begin to crawl, stand and soon walk and right about that time they learn the words they hear the most. For the large majority of kids, that word is "no". Cute at first, it soon becomes an annoyance but at least they are learning and beginning to show you they understand what is happening around them.

The weeks fly by and then the milestone everyone knows and loves arrives. The "terrible twos". Many experts argue for and against the label but I think we all have seen the evidence of the demographic. But the time continues to move and shortly the threes rear up and dominate all the frustrations of "no".

The "no" quickly transitions to "why" and then it is all down from here. They challenge every decision made and every tidbit of wisdom of you are willing to offer there empty and un-experienced minds.

But there is a lot of awesome in the amount of curiosity they have. It is a good practice to continue especially now that you think you know everything. Try asking why when you are commuting to work two hours a day to a job you kind of like sometimes. Ask why when you shop, ask why when you workout, ask why when you think you know something. Challenge it.