Keep Your Shirt On

Seriously. Keep it on.

Skinny guy running on the beach, big guy walking on the sidewalk, and man in his car stuck in traffic. None of these are good times to show off what you got going on by taking your shirts off.

I don't know why guys do this. Maybe we see other guys do it and just assume it is ok for us to try it ourselves. But you know what assuming does; it makes an ass out of you. Exactly. I know it is stupid hot outside and were you getting out of the pool or just about to go build a sandcastle somewhere, I would say good for you. But you are mowing your front lawn right now. One false move with that weed-eater and so long symmetry.

Real tan lines. Just not mine.

Don't worry we get it. You are a proud man with a six pack the ladies all swoon after. We can see you are outdoorsy and athletic. You are outside and running. Those two facts are easy to guess about you. But keep a little mystery to yourself. I display my farmers tan poolside with pride because I am a grown man that is ok with wearing my shirt out of the house. Glaring white I may be, but for a reason.

Because I wear shirts, sometimes.