In Memory

Maintaining a vigilant eye on our history is the only way we can move progressively toward a better society. Remembering our heroes and loved ones is vital to this idea.

I used to be incapable of attending memorial services of any kind. I would go to funerals, wakes, "celebrations of life", but I could never be comfortable thinking about the deceased. I hated the idea that the loss of someone close was inevitable. The whole time I would be in the room, I would simply keep my head down and my mouth shut, and the first chance I got to make a break for the door, I took it. This makes me sound cold and heartless, I know, but I just couldn't get over the fact that over there, in the corner, is the lifeless body of a person I can never learn from again.

At such an event, I was sitting along the side of the room while everyone was chatting and telling everyone else how much they will miss the person. An elderly man sat down next to me, too close for me to completely ignore and he struck up a conversation with me that I remember today. I say a conversation, but I mostly just listened. He spoke to me about the loss of his own family members, how much they meant to him and how sad he still was about loosing them. He asked me how I was feeling but before I could answer, he interrupted me. "Don't be sorry for the loss. Learn from it. How did the way they lived make you want to be a better person? What are you going to do different tomorrow, now that they are gone?" I was a little stunned and before I knew it, another one of the guests came and swept him away.

I think about that now when I hear about someone losing a loved one. I think about what I will do differently knowing about them and how the did but more importantly, how they lived. Who will take over for them at the animal shelter or Sunday school class where they volunteered? Who will hug that person's Mom or care for their children? How can we remember them with honor?

We could build stone monuments, put stupid decals on the rear windows of our cars, or make a scene at the funeral so everyone sees how sad you can be when you try. Or better yet we can learn from the loss. Love one another. Serve one another. Listen to one another. Be sincere with one another. And remember the heroes of your life. Honor them with yours.