Waiting Games

Open the door and you immediately regret the decision to do this today. But it is near the end of the month and you have put it off long enough. So you tell yourself but a part of you still knows this is not a great way to start the day. You walk past the three spiked hair, wish they could be shirtless right now, crossfit guys on their phones, pretending to talk to someone so they seem important. No doubt they are here because the one friend that drives needed to pay a ticket or something. You walk past the teen that just finished the exam and can't wait to get out there and show us all how its done. You walk up to the red ticket machine and pull a number. Eighty-four. Not to bad. At least it isn't in the hundreds, you think as you scan the room for a spot to prop up in and claim for yourself in the midst of the chaos. You take your coat off and then you hear it. "Next! Number seventeen!" Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach and you sigh. In that moment you realize you are just another faceless member of the herd. You sigh a deep, dark sigh in almost perfect unison with every other poor sap that thought today might just be the day no one else shows up to the DMV.

Waiting is an old man's game. I am too young to be in one place too long. I have a life to live and important other things to do. But is that true? Have you ever really waited? Waited patiently? It can be quite a relief sometimes if approached from the right angle.

According to several sources, in a lifespan of 70 years, a person waits for almost 3 of those years. Three years of waiting in lines, waiting for the restroom, waiting for the page to finally print off the copy machine, waiting for the light to turn green, waiting for the next best thing to come out of the store you have camped outside of the week before Christmas.

I recommend the following alternatives to joining the chorus of heavy sighing:

• people watch (that's a given but have fun with it. what brought that guy to the point where he would want that tattoo or did he?, etc.)
• try to remember the words to a song you haven't sung since grade school
• relive the best and worst days of your life (maybe you'll learn a lesson or two)
• let someone in front of you (blasphemy, sure, but you'd be surprised at the conversations you'll strike up)
• imagine yourself as the person you are waiting to see (how many crazy people have they already had to deal with today. Not including you..)
• attempt to not play with your phone (its more fun than you think)

Whatever you do, wait with pride. Know you are one of many. Be the example of "common" courtesy and friendliness. Learn something about yourself. Do not waste three years of your life taking the easy way out and simply giving in to the boredom.

Keep Your Shirt On

Seriously. Keep it on.

Skinny guy running on the beach, big guy walking on the sidewalk, and man in his car stuck in traffic. None of these are good times to show off what you got going on by taking your shirts off.

I don't know why guys do this. Maybe we see other guys do it and just assume it is ok for us to try it ourselves. But you know what assuming does; it makes an ass out of you. Exactly. I know it is stupid hot outside and were you getting out of the pool or just about to go build a sandcastle somewhere, I would say good for you. But you are mowing your front lawn right now. One false move with that weed-eater and so long symmetry.

Real tan lines. Just not mine.

Don't worry we get it. You are a proud man with a six pack the ladies all swoon after. We can see you are outdoorsy and athletic. You are outside and running. Those two facts are easy to guess about you. But keep a little mystery to yourself. I display my farmers tan poolside with pride because I am a grown man that is ok with wearing my shirt out of the house. Glaring white I may be, but for a reason.

Because I wear shirts, sometimes.

Believer

It is vital to have something you believe in. Many seek after great men and leaders of great movements. Many seek after gods and religious ritual to trust in and follow. And although I do believe in God and I keep my faith my focus, I was reminded this week how important it is to have someone believe in you. I have no desire to be worshiped, but I do need to be believed in from time to time.

When you feel down or when things just don't work out the way you planned for them to, you need someone to come along side you and remind you that you matter. What you did, although you failed miserably at whatever it was, was good. When you are sad and feeling alone in the world, to have someone stand by you, reach out their hand to you and remind you that you are interesting and fun. When you feel stuck and think there is no way you can possibly..., they are right there to say yes, you can.

Having someone believe in you and give you that boost once in a while is so refreshing. It revitalizes to the core. Those are the people others try to surround themselves with but your believer is yours. It won't matter how much you try to push or battle your way from them, they will always be there rooting for you. Don't take it for granted. Embrace them and let them know that someone who is followed is only as strong as the belief of their followers.

In Memory

Maintaining a vigilant eye on our history is the only way we can move progressively toward a better society. Remembering our heroes and loved ones is vital to this idea.

I used to be incapable of attending memorial services of any kind. I would go to funerals, wakes, "celebrations of life", but I could never be comfortable thinking about the deceased. I hated the idea that the loss of someone close was inevitable. The whole time I would be in the room, I would simply keep my head down and my mouth shut, and the first chance I got to make a break for the door, I took it. This makes me sound cold and heartless, I know, but I just couldn't get over the fact that over there, in the corner, is the lifeless body of a person I can never learn from again.

At such an event, I was sitting along the side of the room while everyone was chatting and telling everyone else how much they will miss the person. An elderly man sat down next to me, too close for me to completely ignore and he struck up a conversation with me that I remember today. I say a conversation, but I mostly just listened. He spoke to me about the loss of his own family members, how much they meant to him and how sad he still was about loosing them. He asked me how I was feeling but before I could answer, he interrupted me. "Don't be sorry for the loss. Learn from it. How did the way they lived make you want to be a better person? What are you going to do different tomorrow, now that they are gone?" I was a little stunned and before I knew it, another one of the guests came and swept him away.

I think about that now when I hear about someone losing a loved one. I think about what I will do differently knowing about them and how the did but more importantly, how they lived. Who will take over for them at the animal shelter or Sunday school class where they volunteered? Who will hug that person's Mom or care for their children? How can we remember them with honor?

We could build stone monuments, put stupid decals on the rear windows of our cars, or make a scene at the funeral so everyone sees how sad you can be when you try. Or better yet we can learn from the loss. Love one another. Serve one another. Listen to one another. Be sincere with one another. And remember the heroes of your life. Honor them with yours.

Up In Flames

Record holder for the most gold medals won by a single person at the Olympics. Rock and roll hall of fame-er. Chairman of the board for a charity that reaches out to young children without homes of their own. Champion BBQ master. Or otherwise recognized as that guy that was caught smoking pot, the drug abuser, the thief and the guy that had the heat just a little too high, a little too long that one time.

Whatever it is that we seem capable to accomplish, we are always remembered by the failures. Or at least that's how it appears. The Hollywood star or the pastor of the local church, they are always brought down by that one thing. Whatever it is and however insignificant it is in the long term, that one thing will always haunt them wherever they go. They can no longer be recognized for the good they did but instead that one black spot on their record. This is now their defining characteristic.

I have seen this with regular people as well as the super rich and popular individuals we have under the microscope. We have one time criminals from all backgrounds that can't find work because they were with someone doing something that one time. We have artists being judged by the one painting they submitted that will never paint again due to poor turnout at a gallery opening.

Do not let that one time bring you down. Although second chances are hard to come by sometimes, they are out there.Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don't give up on yourself and don't look down on others when they might leave the food on the grill too long. They can do better. And so can you.

Good Enough

After traveling hundreds of miles in a cattle drawn wagon for two years through the plains of the midwest and over mountains higher than you have ever seen in your life, you would come to find yourself tired and weak. I have been to the Oregon Trail museum and read the journal entries of the people who made that long journey and I have read about the overwhelming relief they found when they finally reached the pacific coast. But several didn't make it. Some did not starve or become ill. Some just gave up. "Well, here is as good as any other place I suppose." I can just hear it as they began to unpack the wagon, setting their supplies and personal belongings down on the dusty desert floor not realizing they were only few hilltops to the land promised them. Here is good enough.

I suppose there was a man (had to have been a guy) that decided one day, "I am tired of spending so much money on toilet paper. I know, I will make it half as thick!" Why would you need more than that? And we have had to put up with the curse of single ply ever since. But it should be good enough.

One day someone walks into a store, sees a spatula on a rack, and they say to themselves, "I bet I can make a cheaper version of that." And the dollar store was born. A one dollar spatula is as good as a five dollar one right? It will work good enough.

What happened to striving for excellence? What happened to wanting to be the best or build the best or give the best? What happened to setting standards and goals and working hard to accomplish them? Today, money is tight but I still refuse to settle for good enough.

Giving Up

If I took the time to think of all the good things that have ever happened to me, you being in my life would be at the top. We each have our issues and we each have our baggage, but none of that matters to me. You want and need things that I feel unqualified or unable to provide you with but you are more than that to me. None of my fears can keep me from you. I will fight for you, I will cry with you and I will continually seek after you. But I give up.

For you, I give up my fear of a future alone. For you, I give up the desires of a selfish heart. For you, I give up the loneliness that has kept me company these last few years. For you, I give up my anxious thoughts and my ignorance of the things to come. I give up my worry, my sorrow, my envy of others' happiness.

The reason I tell you this is not to frighten you or to cause you to stress. You do not have to be concerned. The thing is, I am not giving up to you. I am giving up for you and I am giving you up to Him. I had forgotten for a moment that you are not mine to have. You and your heart belong to another. He loves you more than I and more than I ever could. Because of that, I am offering you back to Him.

Remember who you belong to.