Believer

It is vital to have something you believe in. Many seek after great men and leaders of great movements. Many seek after gods and religious ritual to trust in and follow. And although I do believe in God and I keep my faith my focus, I was reminded this week how important it is to have someone believe in you. I have no desire to be worshiped, but I do need to be believed in from time to time.

When you feel down or when things just don't work out the way you planned for them to, you need someone to come along side you and remind you that you matter. What you did, although you failed miserably at whatever it was, was good. When you are sad and feeling alone in the world, to have someone stand by you, reach out their hand to you and remind you that you are interesting and fun. When you feel stuck and think there is no way you can possibly..., they are right there to say yes, you can.

Having someone believe in you and give you that boost once in a while is so refreshing. It revitalizes to the core. Those are the people others try to surround themselves with but your believer is yours. It won't matter how much you try to push or battle your way from them, they will always be there rooting for you. Don't take it for granted. Embrace them and let them know that someone who is followed is only as strong as the belief of their followers.

In Memory

Maintaining a vigilant eye on our history is the only way we can move progressively toward a better society. Remembering our heroes and loved ones is vital to this idea.

I used to be incapable of attending memorial services of any kind. I would go to funerals, wakes, "celebrations of life", but I could never be comfortable thinking about the deceased. I hated the idea that the loss of someone close was inevitable. The whole time I would be in the room, I would simply keep my head down and my mouth shut, and the first chance I got to make a break for the door, I took it. This makes me sound cold and heartless, I know, but I just couldn't get over the fact that over there, in the corner, is the lifeless body of a person I can never learn from again.

At such an event, I was sitting along the side of the room while everyone was chatting and telling everyone else how much they will miss the person. An elderly man sat down next to me, too close for me to completely ignore and he struck up a conversation with me that I remember today. I say a conversation, but I mostly just listened. He spoke to me about the loss of his own family members, how much they meant to him and how sad he still was about loosing them. He asked me how I was feeling but before I could answer, he interrupted me. "Don't be sorry for the loss. Learn from it. How did the way they lived make you want to be a better person? What are you going to do different tomorrow, now that they are gone?" I was a little stunned and before I knew it, another one of the guests came and swept him away.

I think about that now when I hear about someone losing a loved one. I think about what I will do differently knowing about them and how the did but more importantly, how they lived. Who will take over for them at the animal shelter or Sunday school class where they volunteered? Who will hug that person's Mom or care for their children? How can we remember them with honor?

We could build stone monuments, put stupid decals on the rear windows of our cars, or make a scene at the funeral so everyone sees how sad you can be when you try. Or better yet we can learn from the loss. Love one another. Serve one another. Listen to one another. Be sincere with one another. And remember the heroes of your life. Honor them with yours.

Up In Flames

Record holder for the most gold medals won by a single person at the Olympics. Rock and roll hall of fame-er. Chairman of the board for a charity that reaches out to young children without homes of their own. Champion BBQ master. Or otherwise recognized as that guy that was caught smoking pot, the drug abuser, the thief and the guy that had the heat just a little too high, a little too long that one time.

Whatever it is that we seem capable to accomplish, we are always remembered by the failures. Or at least that's how it appears. The Hollywood star or the pastor of the local church, they are always brought down by that one thing. Whatever it is and however insignificant it is in the long term, that one thing will always haunt them wherever they go. They can no longer be recognized for the good they did but instead that one black spot on their record. This is now their defining characteristic.

I have seen this with regular people as well as the super rich and popular individuals we have under the microscope. We have one time criminals from all backgrounds that can't find work because they were with someone doing something that one time. We have artists being judged by the one painting they submitted that will never paint again due to poor turnout at a gallery opening.

Do not let that one time bring you down. Although second chances are hard to come by sometimes, they are out there.Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don't give up on yourself and don't look down on others when they might leave the food on the grill too long. They can do better. And so can you.

Good Enough

After traveling hundreds of miles in a cattle drawn wagon for two years through the plains of the midwest and over mountains higher than you have ever seen in your life, you would come to find yourself tired and weak. I have been to the Oregon Trail museum and read the journal entries of the people who made that long journey and I have read about the overwhelming relief they found when they finally reached the pacific coast. But several didn't make it. Some did not starve or become ill. Some just gave up. "Well, here is as good as any other place I suppose." I can just hear it as they began to unpack the wagon, setting their supplies and personal belongings down on the dusty desert floor not realizing they were only few hilltops to the land promised them. Here is good enough.

I suppose there was a man (had to have been a guy) that decided one day, "I am tired of spending so much money on toilet paper. I know, I will make it half as thick!" Why would you need more than that? And we have had to put up with the curse of single ply ever since. But it should be good enough.

One day someone walks into a store, sees a spatula on a rack, and they say to themselves, "I bet I can make a cheaper version of that." And the dollar store was born. A one dollar spatula is as good as a five dollar one right? It will work good enough.

What happened to striving for excellence? What happened to wanting to be the best or build the best or give the best? What happened to setting standards and goals and working hard to accomplish them? Today, money is tight but I still refuse to settle for good enough.

Giving Up

If I took the time to think of all the good things that have ever happened to me, you being in my life would be at the top. We each have our issues and we each have our baggage, but none of that matters to me. You want and need things that I feel unqualified or unable to provide you with but you are more than that to me. None of my fears can keep me from you. I will fight for you, I will cry with you and I will continually seek after you. But I give up.

For you, I give up my fear of a future alone. For you, I give up the desires of a selfish heart. For you, I give up the loneliness that has kept me company these last few years. For you, I give up my anxious thoughts and my ignorance of the things to come. I give up my worry, my sorrow, my envy of others' happiness.

The reason I tell you this is not to frighten you or to cause you to stress. You do not have to be concerned. The thing is, I am not giving up to you. I am giving up for you and I am giving you up to Him. I had forgotten for a moment that you are not mine to have. You and your heart belong to another. He loves you more than I and more than I ever could. Because of that, I am offering you back to Him.

Remember who you belong to.

Intentions

I intend to be completely yours.

The good stuff, the bad stuff, the crazy stuff in my life will belong to you and only you.

You will be the first and last thought of everyday.

I will dream of you when we are apart and hold you when we are together.

The days I spend with you will be my best.

You will be my friend, my caretaker, my support and my safe place.

I will reveal to you the secrets of my heart and I will treasure those you choose to confide in me.

To be with you will be the desire of my heart.

You will lift me when I am fallen and be my strength when I am wounded.

I will find comfort in your smile.

When our names are spoken it will be with envy of what we share together.

You, I will love like no other can.

All Alone

It seems too good to be true. Riding out on the open road, stopping when you want to take in the view, making the choice of where you want to go and when. It is the picture of the ultimate fantasy; doing what you want and not caring what anyone else has to say about it. The problem is, that rarely is the case.

That might be the appeal of shows like SOA and the biker image itself, but what we are trying to forget about is the one thing that makes us who we are; the people we love.

I would like to say it was an easy transition from being married to living it up as a single guy, but it was so difficult for me to drop some of the habits I had developed while married. At least the ones that didn't matter. I had to forget how she liked to have things and start making decisions all on my own. It has almost been two years and I still catch myself from time to time. Problem is, now it's time for me to make the change again.

I wanted so much to be with someone and share life with them and it seemed like it wouldn't happen. So I became comfortable with the idea of being single and being happy that way. I surrounded myself with other happy-to-be-single people and much to my surprise, I found myself longing for the companionship. Perhaps that is why there are so many motorcycle clubs to join. We are longing to be stand alone individuals within a crowd of people that feel the same.

"It ain't easy living free", fun maybe for a while, but not satisfying.