Multiple Heartbreaks

Loss is the first feeling in your heart when you hear the words. Relief will be the next but only for a short moment before the words start to come out. Most of the times they will be spoken with sarcasm or anger but even then you will be hard pressed to not reveal the hurt. The loss returns and the flood of what-ifs comes in and washes away the anger. Perhaps this is not real. Maybe it is just a misunderstanding. I will simply change and do whatever is needed to make it right. But in the end after the flood drains and leaves you feeling the same, you are left alone.

You feel bad for a time and maybe try to distract yourself, but no matter what you are doing, the thoughts return. The loss is felt again. This time you move to strike it from your heart and with a vengeance, you purge your heart and mind of all of those dark emotions. As you do so, they grow worse. Like rubbing a stain out of a painted wall, you end up with a spot much deeper and darker than when you began. It is only when you stop for a moment to rest from your purge you feel the relief again.

You will go through this everyday, several times, until it becomes a part of your normal. The waves of emotions are like the sea; there are always waves, sometimes they are bigger, sometimes smaller, but always waves. Once in a while you will experience a storm similar to the first and it will toss you and throw your world out of balance. You will feel as though you are about to drown but eventually the waves will calm and you will find relief.

Do not forget the moments of peace. You will need them to think on during the storms. Think back to them and know there are more to come. Remember feeling free from the anger and hurt. Remember those who were with you in the last storm are with you now. Think on the good things. Think on the good things.

Heartache is the sign that what you had was important to you. Heartache is the sign of someone who feels things at the deepest level and has loved at the fullest. Heartbreak just reminds us that we are more than just cold, emotionless bodies on the earth. We are here to love and be loved and along that path there will always be another heartbreak.